Morning you glories.
We have a confession to make… There is no Sexist News today. We do have a good reason, we promise.
We are working on a project that we hope will delight and amuse. Though we would love to be able to do TWISN in tandem, trawling through the word-poo that constitutes the press treatment of wimmin is quite a distraction from the Mission At Hand (though it is not entirely separate from this activity). PLUS Flora is posing as a Fungus Historian for Kew Gardens and Iris has just been given more hours at her job. We have been respectively fraudulently discussing mushrooms and photocopying with such wild abandon that moonlighting as jovial feminazis has been somewhat tricky.
However the new project is trucking on and we want you all to enjoy it, so it must be of the highest quality. Sexist News will be back. Will bells on, and the usual array of bell-ends. So do not fear.
Oh what the hell, we can give you a wee snifter of Sexist News, we hate for you to be empty handed and this one was handed to us on a platter…
Women, know your limits
So, women*. Are you too picky? A paid for opinion from sockless ‘thinking man’ Martin Daubney, in The Telegraph, suggests that women should lower their expectations. Basically, too many of us want a beau with gold-plated chest hair, fabulous breeches and an accomplished level of skill on the pianoforte.
Come on ladies, there are only so many heirs to fortunes to go around, only so many princes, CEOs, male models and dishy professors out there. For fuck’s sake, there are plenty of blokes who will grope you on the underground, why not just marry one of them? Daubs is only thinking of you, he doesn’t want you to end up all old and bitter and childless.
Daubs thinks we should all give the boys a break. Sorry, what was that? Yes. Yes that is the same Martin Daubney who edited airbrushed-tit-catalogue Loaded for EIGHT years. Yes that’s the magazine Loaded that was chock full of images of smoking-hot babes. Yes, that’s Loaded, the entitlement-laced boy-comic for the indefatigable masturbator.
So ladies, lower your expectations. And take comfort in the fact that no one expects anything of you, not pert breasts, not hairlessness below the nose, not youth, not full lips, nor sandwich making expertise, nor blowjob doctorates, nothing. We are fine to just exist, unimproved, unfettered, unencumbered… … … … .. .
*please note this is Daubney Land which seems decidedly heteronormative.
Right, we’re off. We have much to do. We’ll be back, lovelies.
Iris & Flora
Dinosaur man photo from: http://www.gratisography.com/