WELCOME

WE'LL STICK THE KETTLE ON

Hello, and welcome to My Tights Won’t Stay Up. We are Iris Clot and Flora Cramp, lady-bloggers who find maintaining high levels of groomed femininity a massive ball-ache. As girl-children we saw a world promised to us on telly, in magazines and adverts where we would become lithe, graceful, organised goddesses. It was a pile of crusty lies. We can no more master liquid eyeliner than we can bewitch men with our choice of trouser, or divine the malevolent sorcery required to keep our jeffing tights up. In short, we each felt like we were starring in our own one woman farce. Read more…

Latest Blog Posts

Have your finger on the pulse of our refusal to accept the world for women as we know it. To read more blogs click >> here.

Mind the Gap and other tales of sexist fun

• It's Friday and Violet Bushtrimmer, our roving correspondent out in the social media field, reports back on some recent findings. Mind the gap.... and the idiots. This was the week that the BBC decided to reveal the salaries of their top paid stars. Or was FORCED to...
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Doctor Who and the man-babies

We welcome esteemed new contributor Ms V. Bushtrimmer to the site with what we're sure you'll agree is a frankly sensational debut. Equal parts steamed loathing, vivid sexual imagery and weeping man-babies who will be watching Ant and Dec firing marshmallows at an owl...
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You couldn’t make it up

There is a point where you just can't face reading The Express, The Mail, The Sun, The Star, a large proportion of The Mirror or The Telegraph and hope never to clap eyes on any of them ever again. We have reached it. Iris thought she could cope and valiantly tried to...
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Darn Kitsch! – Guest Post

We're very excited that the fabulous Cath Janes has written this guest post for us. Many a beverage was choked on reading her hilarious rage-filled Kraken Wakes blogs. She doesn't write so much these days, but is no less creative. You won't find her at a laptop, but...
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The Week in Sexist News 30/06/2017

Hope you've got a nice cuppa, never face press sexism without caffeine... 10) Designer poverty The Telegraph, 28/06/17 I'm sure anyone who is struggling financially, like public sector workers, perhaps, can empathise with Sam Cam's howl of pain. The real victim here...
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The week in sexist news 23/06/2017

Well, it *is* Friday. With all the other frankly abysmal shit going down, it's somewhat comforting to know that our national press (online and off) still prioritises women and make plenty of time to body and slut shame, obsess over the legs of dead royals and be...
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Brexit Style

As Brexit brow sweeps the nation, we take a look at this year's hottest 'Article 50' style essentials, guaranteed to make your wardrobe great again. [Click here to view as a pdf] 1. Henge dress Made of dolerite poly-cotton mix, this neolithic number harks back to a...
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30 Things We’ve Learned From Today’s Daily Mail

1) It's always best to distract readers from bad news about any royals or prospective royals... ...with tits. 2) Women should do age-appropriate shagging As men are allowed to have normal all-purpose sex regardless of age, one presumes these 'steamy' scenes required...
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The Week in Sexist News 11/12/15 (sort of)

Merry December dearest pals, The Week in Sexist News is back! Well, sort of. While we've been working on our EXCITING NEW PROJECT (which we will unveil with a flourish in the New Year), so we've been taking a break from sexist newsing...but...we haven't really. You...
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Not The Week in Sexist News 13/11/2015

Morning you glories. We have a confession to make... There is no Sexist News today. We do have a good reason, we promise. We are working on a project that we hope will delight and amuse. Though we would love to be able to do TWISN in tandem, trawling through the...
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The Week in Sexist News 03/07/15

Morning lovely people, as you may or may not know this week's count down is a bit later as we did our first LIVE version of Sexist News yesterday at Matchwomen's Festival. All very exciting and hangover facilitating. So without further ado, here's some shit news for...
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The week in sexist news 23/06/2017

Well, it *is* Friday. With all the other frankly abysmal shit going down, it's somewhat comforting to know that our national press (online and off) still prioritises women and make plenty of time to body and slut shame, obsess over the legs of dead royals and be...
Read More

The Week in Sexist News 29/05/2015

So. That Friday feeling. Slightly sweary and in desperate need of one of those glasses that holds 12 cubic litres of wine? Yes, us too. You'll be unsurprised to discover that there is still some sexist news knocking about, tossers willing to write it and plenty of...
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The Week in Sexist News 05/06/2015

Afternoon all, sorry we're late today. It's a long story involving ovaries, gin and a ludicrous settee, we will spare you the details. We must say, this week we've both felt quite crabby. This may come across, so forgive us for all the profanities. Maybe the last 7...
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The Week in Sexist News 04/09/15

Good morning, you rabble of delightful malcontents. As usual, we have plumbed the depths of our fair land's journalist u-bend, and bring you the news equivalent of clumps of hair, soap scum, bits of skin and that weird gloopy grey stuff that is difficult to...
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The Week in Sexist News 02/10/15

Morning sports fans. So, it's Friday and if you've been anywhere near a tabloid this week you'll likely be feeling all demeaned and grubby, maybe with a startlingly reduced IQ. We've spent the last two days looking at this river of brain corroding smeg and both feel...
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The Week in Sexist News 07/08/2015

- By Iris Clot and Janice Lathe. Flora Cramp is away. On reflection and based on some comments (which we've responded to) I've updated entries #10 and #4. TWISN went a touch rogue this week... I do so love poking things with the Class Stick but Flora usually reigns me...
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The Week in Sexist News 12/06/15

Aaaaah... we love the smell of sexism in the morning. Which is a good thing, since this week has gifted our green and pleasant land with a veritable pea-souper of stinking, patriarchal fug. Woo-hoo. SRSLY people it's bleak. Jeffing bleak, as my grandma, who would die...
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The Week in Sexist News 30/01/15

Greetings readers, how is everyone? We're a bit out of sorts, Flora has been having trouble with technology and wrote her bits of TWISN with an actual pen and paper, it's a little suspect, we're keeping an eye on her. Iris has been mainlining espressos since she...
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The Week in Sexist News 30/06/2017

Hope you've got a nice cuppa, never face press sexism without caffeine... 10) Designer poverty The Telegraph, 28/06/17 I'm sure anyone who is struggling financially, like public sector workers, perhaps, can empathise with Sam Cam's howl of pain. The real victim here...
Read More

FLAUNTING PRAISE FOR THE WEEK IN SEXIST NEWS

“A refreshing and effective combination of feminist thought and sharp humour. Has made me wet myself laughing”

Laura Bates, Everyday Sexism

“The Week in Sexist News is bang on and hilarious. Please let there be a book, it would be the kind of pant wetting affair that I would have to buy for most of the women I know (and the men too, come to think of it) the likes of which I haven’t done since Caitlin Moran’s ‘How to be a Woman’”

Lucy-Anne Holmes, No More Page 3

“I can no longer risk eating or drinking whilst reading these posts. It’s a potential death trap but I guess at least I’d go laughing (snorting and choking!) Love it!”

Jolly nice blog comment

“I actually laughed so hard my breastfeeding baby fell off the boob”

Super lovely blog comment

“It never stops does it? Brilliant though – amazing how the humour can stop me crying into my cereal despite all the misogyny”

Super jolly blog comment

“Thank you, thank you, thank you for always making me feel relieved and happy”

Lovely, smashing blog comment

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