Ranty Pants: Spectator Sexism

August 27, 2015 // 1 Comment

Greetings dear readers! Have you recently seen something infuriating? Have you read an article that has reduced your faculties to semolina?  Has a product or service that promised eternal salvation been a puddle of utter turd? Has an incident filled you with buckets of disappointment at the state of the human race? Yes? Well, fume in silence no longer! Make a nice cup of peppermint tea, crack out the party rings and tell us all about it. Submissions can be daft or serious and can take the form of articles, open letters, poems, drawings, cross stitch creations…we’ve run out of suggestions, but you get the idea – wang ’em over to: floraniris@gmail.com. This week, our pal Nurse Lard responds to that shit Spectator article by Charles Moore, entitled ‘Do Yvette Cooper and Liz […]

The Week in Sexist News 21/08/15

August 20, 2015 // 10 Comments

Salutations Tights fans. We are back and obviously thrilled that there’s been so much to write about. On Twitter this week, a lovely chap told us that we are just looking for sexism. Yes. We are. And we hunt far and wide, we search high and low just to find mere snippets of fabled misogyny. It’s a tough job ferreting around amongst all the really positive and gender-equal copy that’s just churned out day after day… Yeah… Anyway…    10) Woman leaves house in jewellery Poor, sad, desperate, anguished, despairing, wretched, forlorn, craven, lonely, on-the-shelf Jen is now MARRIED!!!!!!!! Finally she has validation! She is no longer followed by journalists reeling off all the synonyms for ‘not married.’ No, she’s being followed by those lovelies at […]

The Week in Sexist News 07/08/2015

August 7, 2015 // 15 Comments

– By Iris Clot and Janice Lathe. Flora Cramp is away. On reflection and based on some comments (which we’ve responded to) I’ve updated entries #10 and #4. TWISN went a touch rogue this week… I do so love poking things with the Class Stick but Flora usually reigns me in… hope you enjoy the couple of extras lovelies. Iris xx  Fresh from our weekly exertions, we present, dear reader, The Week in Sexist News. Like a shit roman candle or a disappointing shag, light the blue touchpaper and watch it make an exciting-sounding noise before going ‘phut’.   10) Mum’s are such bitches Gosh. A bunch of mums have been fat-shaming at the school gates… Blimey, there really is no precedent for that sort […]

The Week in Sexist News 31/07/2015

July 31, 2015 // 2 Comments

Morning all. Yay, it’s Friday! Want to have a peep into the back of the metaphorical news fridge and smell the fetid, gone-off offerings from the UK’s finest toss peddlers? Thought so. You. Are. Welcome…   10) FASHION! In Telegraph land, there is an objective testing method for Worst Outfits. Presumably, it’s like some kind of Geiger counter; it assesses ‘slut factor,’ ‘mutton rating,’ ‘cankle count’ and ‘Littlewoods Touch.’ Luckily for all you dudes out there, you ALL dressed well in July. Not one man featured in this list of the sartorially challenged. T’was just a host of women, wearing clothes shitly. Idiots.   9) Slut Shaking The Daily Star knows all about femnisim. They’re totally down with intersectionalism and trainsmisogyny and cifgender and all that shiz. But […]

The Week in Sexist News 24/07/15

July 24, 2015 // 11 Comments

Do you have that Friday feeling yet? That foresight which, though accurate, you will ignore. The I’m going to be hungover tomorrow and my plans to mow the lawn/do my tax return/make something spectacular from that hardback celeb cookery book will be completely shagged the second I uncork that bottle of Pinot Noir? Yeah. Before that fateful moment, while all your best intentions are still gleaming, here’s some Sexist News to really add to the optimism. (*pop* glug glug).   10) Scrubbers! You there. Yes, you, you blotchy, orange disaster area. There’s no excuse going out with LAUGHABLE fake tan because the Daily Mail has found some more kitchen cupboard solutions. No matter that they’re generally caustic, abrasive, demeaning and seem designed to feel like a highly […]

The Week in Sexist News 17/07/15

July 17, 2015 // 8 Comments

Good Morrow dear readers. Friday is upon us once more, and with it we serve up a tepid plate of news-flavoured offal for your reluctant delectation. You might need a pelican bib; we doubt you’ll keep any of it down…   10) Context fail guys, bravo Props to The Telegraph, who managed to take an intelligent and common sense call for better sex education from feminist leg-end and general Good Egg, Green MP Caroline Lucas and give it a jolly sexist spin. One might be forgiven for thinking that the headline for the article bears some relevance to the content. Nah, thought the editor, let’s go all ‘Daily Express’ and slut-shamey on this shit. Let’s lower the bar. Maybe they had dear old Martin Daubney write […]

The Week in Sexist News 10/07/15

July 10, 2015 // 5 Comments

Morning all. It beith Friday. We won’t lie, we’re a little the worse for wear. So, we’ll just leave you here with these 10 slices of journalistic hell, while we go and have a small lie down.   10) Woman tweets photo, journo fills shorts Poor sad, lonely, desperate, nostalgic, lonely, sad, wistful, desperate, lonely, old  Anna Friel. She’s 39 soon and will be 39 ‘AS A SINGLE WOMAN.’ Oh bollocks. The implications of this are dire. Jeez Seb, don’t remind us that women over 30 and SINGLE are a blight on the face of this once great country. We already know. Once upon a time, women who got knocked up at least managed to get the men to marry them. But now, shit a […]

The Week in Sexist News 03/07/15

July 5, 2015 // 7 Comments

Morning lovely people, as you may or may not know this week’s count down is a bit later as we did our first LIVE version of Sexist News yesterday at Matchwomen’s Festival. All very exciting and hangover facilitating. So without further ado, here’s some shit news for yous: 10) This week The Sun interviewed ‘pop sensation’ Little Mix, who are, apparently, ‘all set for world domination.’ The interview opened with twelve or thirteen questions about the band members’ boyfriends, and then it really kicked into gear with these beauties: Who has the unhealthiest diet? What body part would you like to steal from the others? What was your worst fashion disaster? What is the ideal age to start a family? Who is going to have the […]

The Week in Sexist News – 26/06/15

June 26, 2015 // 7 Comments

Holy shit. It’s Friday again. Don’t panic. Have you got some kind of baked good handy? Some tea making apparatus? Excellent. Now sit down and read about some terrible, terrible news written by some uniquely ghastly individuals… 10) No Diet Diet THE NO DIET DIET IS BACK EVERYONE! EVERYONE? LOOK! YOU CAN EAT WHATEVER YOU LIKE AND STILL GET A BEACH BOD! YEAH! THE LADY-GRAIL! YEAH IT’S REAL. IT LASTS A WHOLE 4 WEEKS, then you can put it ALL back on and probably more with a compromised metabolism. But fear not; you can then do the ‘back to school diet,’ then the ‘foxy Halloween party diet,’ then the ‘catch a hot PE teacher at parent’s-evening diet,’ then the eat tinsel for Christmas diet… ad infinitum. Thanks The Sun, […]

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