Not The Week in Sexist News 13/11/2015

November 13, 2015 // 0 Comments

Morning you glories. We have a confession to make… There is no Sexist News today. We do have a good reason, we promise. We are working on a project that we hope will delight and amuse. Though we would love to be able to do TWISN in tandem, trawling through the word-poo that constitutes the press treatment of wimmin is quite a distraction from the Mission At Hand (though it is not entirely separate from this activity). PLUS Flora is posing as a Fungus Historian for Kew Gardens and Iris has just been given more hours at her job. We have been respectively fraudulently discussing mushrooms and photocopying with such wild abandon that moonlighting as jovial feminazis has been somewhat tricky. However the new project is trucking […]

The Week in Sexist News 06/11/15

November 5, 2015 // 9 Comments

Good Morning readers! We hope you had a wonderful night of burning cloth men on massive pyres. We tend to do that every two to three weeks, but last night was exceptional – in fact, our fire is still going. We burned enough copies of The Sun to keep the embers alight till Advent. So now, as we empty the dregs of last night’s gin down the toilet and wash the smoke from our matted hair, we’ll leave you with our weekly round up of sexist drivel. Enjoy!   10) Decades of boredom Excuse me while I recover from a boredom related embolism. Oh gosh, look at all these ideal women’s bodies. LOOK AT THEM. Yes, people, The Sun acknowledges that women’s bodies are subject to the […]

The Week in Sexist News 30/10/15

October 30, 2015 // 8 Comments

Good Morning, dear friends. I was just about to pen some scathing introductory words about the shittery of our newshounds, when I spilt a pint of coffee down one leg (the left one), so I’d better go and wash  it (the right one is fine). Iris could’ve taken over, but she was up till 3am writing fan fiction about a fetid, undead, bloodsucking goblin pursuing a beautiful, desperate woman. It was inspired by the enchanting love affair between Rupert Murdoch and Jerry Hall, and is set to be the next Twilight. Anyway, while I put some trousers on, here’s some sexist news:   10) A bit of skirt In art historical circles, there is much said about phallocentrism and the worship of the mightily heroic […]

The Week in Sexist News 23/10/15

October 23, 2015 // 6 Comments

MORNING gals and guys! Have you had a nice week? The papers have contained an absolute toss-fest of shit-flinging and feminist bashing. Which, of course we LOVE. Without further ado here is a veritable banquet of Fleet Street faeces:   10) Not so Fonda* of exercise Did you all enjoy Back to the Future day this week? Bitching about the lack of flying cars and self-tying trainers? Well, The Sun clearly got into the spirit, and is making like a DeLorean and trying to catapult us to back to the 80s, seemingly to facilitate the creation of an alternative 2015. A 2015 where we eat grapefruit to stave off gnawing hunger, hunger from ‘feeling the burn’ of frenziedly thrashing about in a day-glo leotard. Though this […]

The Week in Sexist News (Anniversary Issue – sort of) 16/10/15

October 15, 2015 // 14 Comments

MORNING. Well, we missed an important Tights-iversary. Last week we had been doing TWISN for a WHOLE YEAR. A whole blinkin’ year. Forty-five posts about the dickishness of our ‘free’ press. There have been more celeb-lady-part flauntings in the last year than we’ve had hot dinners, and regardless of what the Daily Mail would prefer re. women eating, we eat dinners. Reports of arse facials, fanny meringues and tit choreography were abundant in 2014-15. That said, we now know that there is no bottom of the barrel where tabloid editors are concerned. Just when you think they’ve subjected the ‘fairer sex’ to the most ludicrously demeaning exposure, they somehow manage to innovate. It would be commendable if they were innovating for, say, a cure for fatuousness. […]

A Load of Arse

October 14, 2015 // 4 Comments

I’m sick of seeing arses. Sexy ones, ‘real’ ones, arty ones, surgically enhanced ones, even the arses of provincial rugby teams, innovatively raising money for charity. They’re everywhere on social media, in newspapers and magazines, on the telly. Yep, arses are the new black, and they won’t get out of my effing face. Arses are such big business these days you can even buy a special cane to aid you in photographing your very own back passage. Purveyors of the ‘Belfie Stick’ boldly offer a 100% satisfaction guarantee, safe in the knowledge that attaching a lens to a plastic rod, shoving it up your anus and capturing that precious moment forever will always provide complete fulfilment. And now Lush are in the news for mounting […]

The Week in Sexist News 09/10/2015

October 9, 2015 // 7 Comments

Oh Good God, it’s Friday again. Which, on the one hand, is good and, on the other, is a reminder of how little one can achieve in 5 days. Unless one includes biscuits consumed, in which case, both of us are WINNERS at life. Anyway, our weekly productivity aside, we’ve consumed, digested and repurposed ten absolutely delightful sexist news stories just for you. Make sure you’ve some Gaviscon handy, darlings.   10) MILF Island Hey new mums! Enjoying spending time with your new bundle of joy? Are you blissfully in love with this tiny person? Well stop it, put the child down, mop up all your grotesque leaking and stand suggestively on one leg for The Sun. What? The sprog is 4 days old and you don’t […]

The Week in Sexist News 02/10/15

October 2, 2015 // 5 Comments

Morning sports fans. So, it’s Friday and if you’ve been anywhere near a tabloid this week you’ll likely be feeling all demeaned and grubby, maybe with a startlingly reduced IQ. We’ve spent the last two days looking at this river of brain corroding smeg and both feel much stupider. Iris can no longer remember any of her passwords for anything and Flora fears she may never be able to rewire a plug again. But, if you have brain cells to spare, we bequeath you TWISN…   10) Newspaper takes lead from masturbating school boys If The Sun were an unpleasant teenage boy on the bus: Ah mate, she was well upset by people sharing her tit pics, it DESTROYED HER. Look at her here with her kit off. There you go, […]

The Week in Sexist News 25/09/15

September 24, 2015 // 8 Comments

Hello!! Darlings, we have missed you. You know what else we’ve missed? That’s correct, we’ve missed ferreting around in the trough of news slurry that is the tabloid press. And we did not ferret in vain, for we have liberated some choice lumps of crud. We invite you all to enjoy these choice wads of gak from our national news pus-bucket.   10) Ushering in Romance Loving the Daily Mail‘s benchmark for romance. Ladies, what really is proof of love and affection? Yes, that’s right, a man facilitating a smooth ingress or egress though a doorway. Extra points for ‘ushering.’ Forget respect, passion, shared jokes, that dubious Thing you like in bed or impromptu packets of plain chocolate Hobnobs, it’s all about being shooed through a door like […]

The Week in Sexist News 04/09/15

September 4, 2015 // 7 Comments

Good morning, you rabble of delightful malcontents. As usual, we have plumbed the depths of our fair land’s journalist u-bend, and bring you the news equivalent of clumps of hair, soap scum, bits of skin and that weird gloopy grey stuff that is difficult to categorise. Enjoy…    10) A bit shrill Telegraph columnist Julia Hartley-Brewer, who seems to be comprised entirely of stomach acid, Oil of Ulay and eyebrows, hates ‘modern’ feminists. So far, so predictable. Oh, what’s that Julia? You agree with Hynde and think sometimes women are asking for it? Or a woman in flimsy attire who’s had a few is the same as a house with it’s door wide open, while the usual occupants backpack around Peru? Ah that’s nice. Well […]

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