The Week in Sexist News 09/10/2015

October 9, 2015 // 5 Comments

Oh Good God, it’s Friday again. Which, on the one hand, is good and, on the other, is a reminder of how little one can achieve in 5 days. Unless one includes biscuits consumed, in which case, both of us are WINNERS at life. Anyway, our weekly productivity aside, we’ve consumed, digested and repurposed ten absolutely delightful sexist news stories just for you. Make sure you’ve some Gaviscon handy, darlings.   10) MILF Island Hey new mums! Enjoying spending time with your new bundle of joy? Are you blissfully in love with this tiny person? Well stop it, put the child down, mop up all your grotesque leaking and stand suggestively on one leg for The Sun. What? The sprog is 4 days old and you don’t […]

The Week in Sexist News 02/10/15

October 2, 2015 // 5 Comments

Morning sports fans. So, it’s Friday and if you’ve been anywhere near a tabloid this week you’ll likely be feeling all demeaned and grubby, maybe with a startlingly reduced IQ. We’ve spent the last two days looking at this river of brain corroding smeg and both feel much stupider. Iris can no longer remember any of her passwords for anything and Flora fears she may never be able to rewire a plug again. But, if you have brain cells to spare, we bequeath you TWISN…   10) Newspaper takes lead from masturbating school boys If The Sun were an unpleasant teenage boy on the bus: Ah mate, she was well upset by people sharing her tit pics, it DESTROYED HER. Look at her here with her kit off. There you go, […]

The Week in Sexist News 25/09/15

September 24, 2015 // 8 Comments

Hello!! Darlings, we have missed you. You know what else we’ve missed? That’s correct, we’ve missed ferreting around in the trough of news slurry that is the tabloid press. And we did not ferret in vain, for we have liberated some choice lumps of crud. We invite you all to enjoy these choice wads of gak from our national news pus-bucket.   10) Ushering in Romance Loving the Daily Mail‘s benchmark for romance. Ladies, what really is proof of love and affection? Yes, that’s right, a man facilitating a smooth ingress or egress though a doorway. Extra points for ‘ushering.’ Forget respect, passion, shared jokes, that dubious Thing you like in bed or impromptu packets of plain chocolate Hobnobs, it’s all about being shooed through a door like […]

The Week in Sexist News 04/09/15

September 4, 2015 // 7 Comments

Good morning, you rabble of delightful malcontents. As usual, we have plumbed the depths of our fair land’s journalist u-bend, and bring you the news equivalent of clumps of hair, soap scum, bits of skin and that weird gloopy grey stuff that is difficult to categorise. Enjoy…    10) A bit shrill Telegraph columnist Julia Hartley-Brewer, who seems to be comprised entirely of stomach acid, Oil of Ulay and eyebrows, hates ‘modern’ feminists. So far, so predictable. Oh, what’s that Julia? You agree with Hynde and think sometimes women are asking for it? Or a woman in flimsy attire who’s had a few is the same as a house with it’s door wide open, while the usual occupants backpack around Peru? Ah that’s nice. Well […]

The Week in Sexist News 28/08/15

August 27, 2015 // 13 Comments

  Morning all. Last week we were spoiled for choice, and this week has not disappointed either. Well, obviously the patronising, sexualising, belittling, mocking and general abusing of just over half the population is massively disappointing. But, in terms of giving us fodder for a good drubbing, we’re up to our tits in veritable horse shit. Do help yourselves to a handful lovelies …   10) Hot or not? Well, this is interesting. The Independent is making a rare appearance this week, with a piece of click bait so enticing you could probably catch a really stupid shark. Other papers have gone for the girl on girl ‘flexisexual’ angle on this fairly pointless ‘study,’ but the Independent opted for a headline implying that if you […]

Ranty Pants: Spectator Sexism

August 27, 2015 // 3 Comments

Greetings dear readers! Have you recently seen something infuriating? Have you read an article that has reduced your faculties to semolina?  Has a product or service that promised eternal salvation been a puddle of utter turd? Has an incident filled you with buckets of disappointment at the state of the human race? Yes? Well, fume in silence no longer! Make a nice cup of peppermint tea, crack out the party rings and tell us all about it. Submissions can be daft or serious and can take the form of articles, open letters, poems, drawings, cross stitch creations…we’ve run out of suggestions, but you get the idea – wang ’em over to: This week, our pal Nurse Lard responds to that shit Spectator article by Charles Moore, entitled ‘Do Yvette Cooper and Liz […]

The Week in Sexist News 21/08/15

August 20, 2015 // 12 Comments

Salutations Tights fans. We are back and obviously thrilled that there’s been so much to write about. On Twitter this week, a lovely chap told us that we are just looking for sexism. Yes. We are. And we hunt far and wide, we search high and low just to find mere snippets of fabled misogyny. It’s a tough job ferreting around amongst all the really positive and gender-equal copy that’s just churned out day after day… Yeah… Anyway…    10) Woman leaves house in jewellery Poor, sad, desperate, anguished, despairing, wretched, forlorn, craven, lonely, on-the-shelf Jen is now MARRIED!!!!!!!! Finally she has validation! She is no longer followed by journalists reeling off all the synonyms for ‘not married.’ No, she’s being followed by those lovelies at […]

The Week in Sexist News 07/08/2015

August 7, 2015 // 15 Comments

– By Iris Clot and Janice Lathe. Flora Cramp is away. On reflection and based on some comments (which we’ve responded to) I’ve updated entries #10 and #4. TWISN went a touch rogue this week… I do so love poking things with the Class Stick but Flora usually reigns me in… hope you enjoy the couple of extras lovelies. Iris xx  Fresh from our weekly exertions, we present, dear reader, The Week in Sexist News. Like a shit roman candle or a disappointing shag, light the blue touchpaper and watch it make an exciting-sounding noise before going ‘phut’.   10) Mum’s are such bitches Gosh. A bunch of mums have been fat-shaming at the school gates… Blimey, there really is no precedent for that sort […]

The Week in Sexist News 31/07/2015

July 31, 2015 // 2 Comments

Morning all. Yay, it’s Friday! Want to have a peep into the back of the metaphorical news fridge and smell the fetid, gone-off offerings from the UK’s finest toss peddlers? Thought so. You. Are. Welcome…   10) FASHION! In Telegraph land, there is an objective testing method for Worst Outfits. Presumably, it’s like some kind of Geiger counter; it assesses ‘slut factor,’ ‘mutton rating,’ ‘cankle count’ and ‘Littlewoods Touch.’ Luckily for all you dudes out there, you ALL dressed well in July. Not one man featured in this list of the sartorially challenged. T’was just a host of women, wearing clothes shitly. Idiots.   9) Slut Shaking The Daily Star knows all about femnisim. They’re totally down with intersectionalism and trainsmisogyny and cifgender and all that shiz. But […]

The Week in Sexist News 24/07/15

July 24, 2015 // 11 Comments

Do you have that Friday feeling yet? That foresight which, though accurate, you will ignore. The I’m going to be hungover tomorrow and my plans to mow the lawn/do my tax return/make something spectacular from that hardback celeb cookery book will be completely shagged the second I uncork that bottle of Pinot Noir? Yeah. Before that fateful moment, while all your best intentions are still gleaming, here’s some Sexist News to really add to the optimism. (*pop* glug glug).   10) Scrubbers! You there. Yes, you, you blotchy, orange disaster area. There’s no excuse going out with LAUGHABLE fake tan because the Daily Mail has found some more kitchen cupboard solutions. No matter that they’re generally caustic, abrasive, demeaning and seem designed to feel like a highly […]

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